A Reflection on Week 7: Sooo When do people become adults?

            I enjoyed reading about the period of emerging adulthood this week. I laughed a little when I got to the section So When Do People Become Adults? Mostly because I feel like I wonder that about myself all the time. When I was in high school, I imagined someone being 30 had it all together. They looked older and more mature (like my parents). They had a secure 9-5 job and there were no more tough life decisions to make.

Ha. Now I am that 30 year old and although I have accomplished pretty much every milestone (role transitions-wise) that should tell me I am an adult, I don’t feel how I expected to feel as an adult. I’m still not completely sure I know what being an adult is supposed to feel like. I went to college, got married, own a home, pay all my own bills, have my own children I am responsible for, I’ve worked a full time bank job. I know I am not alone in this because I hear it from friends all the time. We all feel like we are still 20 year old college kids who just happen to have all of these things ‘grown-ups’ are supposed to have now.

It makes me wonder if having a true rite of passage in our culture would help change this mindset. The Western Apache celebrate a girl’s first menstrual period with an elaborate ceremony to transform her into “Changing Woman” and to prepare her for the community’s adultlike expectations for her (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, 2007). That is pretty clear cut for a transition into adulthood. I feel like it probably really helps to have the community’s support in a transition like this and that they all know to begin treating this person as an adult. I feel like many young adults have their hands held far too long in the rest of the US. I know that times are tough economically and people are leaving college with large amounts of debt, but I work with college graduates who are having their cell phone bills and car insurance paid for by their parents still. I don’t think that this is doing them any favors in the long run. If anything, it is more like a high school student with a part time job experiencing misleading affluence (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, 2007).

I love reading about the cultural differences in each period of life. It’s great to be reminded that what I am going through is similar to others here in the US and some countries but is completely different than others. I think a form of egocentrism follows us throughout our lifetime while we are trying to figure everything out. We tend to become absorbed in what is going on directly around us. Learning about life experiences in various cultures can really put things in perspective.

A Reflection on Week 6: Early Puberty

The article “Teens Before Their Time” really stuck out for me this week. What I thought was most interesting was the idea that “sexualized messages bombarding kids from all sides” are contributing to the early physiological changes triggering puberty. These “messages” really can be seen everywhere. They are characters on TV shows, commercials, magazines, advertising, store displays, and walking through the halls of our local schools. When compared to salivating at the thought of delicious food, it makes sense that this constant exposure could possibly trigger the release of chemicals responsible for beginning puberty. If that is the case, then why doesn’t it affect all children? It is occurring more frequently now, however most girls still reach puberty at a more appropriate age. I think that this idea also ties into blaming violence on television and video games for causing aggression and violence in children. I can buy into all of this exposure, sexual or violent, contributing to physiological changes but it is definitely not the only factor for either situation.

   I honestly don’t know what I would think if any of my girls started physically developing at such an early age. It made me sad for these girls in the article to have to miss out on things like slumber parties. Childhood is so short already; I would hate to have to protect them from potentially embarrassing situations that would otherwise be part of a normal childhood. I also wouldn’t want them to deal with the emotional and psychological consequences of looking older than they are and how they would be treated by others, especially boys. I know I can’t control everything they are exposed to, but I hope that by keeping an eye on what my children are watching and keeping them busy with age appropriate activities, I can let them enjoy being kids for as long as possible.

A Reflection on Week 5: Child Maltreatment

            “Countries that do not condone physical punishment tend to have lower rates of child maltreatment than the United States” (US Department of State, 2002).

            My husband is someone who loves to read the crazy news stories online or on his phone. He is always telling me about something bizarre that usually happens in Florida. Sadly, he also tells me too many stories about “some guy” or “some mom who smothered their 6-month old because it wouldn’t stop crying” or worse. Unfortunately some of the stories are quite horrible and heartbreaking. I really can’t imagine someone being capable of harming a child. When I read the above quote in our text, it made me think about how much for we could be and should be doing in this country to prevent the tragedies of child abuse.

            Our book lists several factors that could lead to the abuse of a child. The first issue discussed is the cultural values and that child maltreatment is significantly less likely in a country that has “strong cultural prohibitions against physical punishment”. In Sweden, spanking is illegal and a child can report their parents to the police?! This is the same country, I believe, that the government provides care packages for all families with new babies, provides free or very low cost prenatal care and has one of the lowest infant mortality rates in the world. Poverty and social isolation are also discussed. These parents could be stressed and feel like they have no support. They might be uneducated and do not know a better way to handle a difficult situation with their child. They may be practicing the type of parenting that they grew up with as children. It is easy to revert to what you know, even if it is not the best option, in a stressful situation.

            By far, the most disturbing factor is reciprocal influence and that children may be unknowingly contributing to their own abuse. I really disliked the way this particular section was written. I understand what they are trying to say; that by having incompatible temperaments, being ill and causing extra stress on the parents or being unable to control their own whining or crying, they may unintentionally become targets of abuse. I would have preferred the focus be on the parents who lack the skills to respond to these situations. I think it could have been explained more simply that certain kids are more likely to be abused based on certain factors without it sounding so much like a “blame the victim” situation. 

            I am interested to know more about the accuracy of these statistics and also what they are currently. If it truly is the case that abuse is much less prevalent in countries that do not condone physical punishment, what kinds of parental support and trainings exist? I wonder if it is simply that it’s not an option, it is not in their own life experience or are these parents provided with additional ‘tools’ and knowledge that we are not required to receive in the US. I can only imagine the uproar that would be caused if the government stepped in to try and take away someone’s “right” to spank or choice discipline as they see fit. I know plenty of people who would testify that they were spanked as a child and they turned out alright but I think in this case we would need to look at the big picture and find out how we could positively affect the most children. We know abuse can lead to lasting psychological issues and physical damage. No one deserves to be mistreated, physically or verbally, and if anything could be done proactively to prevent it, I think it’s worth considering.

A Reflection on Week 4: Memory

This chapter talked a lot about cognitive development as children enter school and move on to concrete-operational thinking from preoperational thinking. It seems accurate that we do need to move through certain stages of development before advancing to the next stage. Many of the skills needed throughout school are built upon foundations set in the earlier stages. Children need to learn letters before they can recognize groups of letters as words. One must learn to count and understand what the numbers are referencing before moving on to arithmetic. This concept just seems natural to me so I had never given it much thought. What stood out when reading was the reasoning process children go through when presented with a new word to read or a problem to solve. I had never really considered how children are constantly converting all of this new information they are taking in to their long-term memory. Each time they are presented with a new situation, they are attempting to retrieve helpful information from their memory, such as a smaller word within a larger word or simpler addition as part of a bigger problem. I remember learning the neurological steps in converting memories to long-term in A&P; it’s a wonder our children’s brains don’t just shut down and force them to pass out at the end of the day. That thing is working overtime; it deserves a little R & R.

A friend of mine recently learned, with her preschooler, that memorization does not mean the child has a full understanding of a concept. The ABC’s are a perfect example. We all learn the ABC song at a very young age. We, as parents, are very proud when our children can recite it to us. She assumed that because her child could sing the ABCs that he knew them. She was really disappointed to find out that when shown a letter on its own, he couldn’t tell you what it was. He has the base knowledge of what the ABCs are, however, so providing each letter it own identity has been a smooth process.

I have seen some of the memory strategies mentioned in the book in action with my own children. Rehearsal is really a great one. I didn’t even realize it when our oldest daughter had memorized my husband’s phone number just from me saying in verbally in the car to call him. She mumbled it quickly when I first asked her to repeat it to me because she was trying to imitate the sounds I had made. As soon as I explained that they were numbers, she understood perfectly. We used the same strategy to teach her my phone number. It literally only took about 5 minutes of repeating it together in sections first, then the whole thing in rapid-fire, then quizzing her a few times randomly. She helps me with a small shopping list the same way. “At the store we need this, this, and this. What do we need at the store?” If we do that a few times on the way, she will tell me exactly what we need when we get there.  

I hope that memory is touched on more in later sections of the book. Maybe it can explain to me why my darling, loving husband, who can rattle off any sports statistic ever generated or tell me who played for which team and when, can’t remember what he was supposed to get at the grocery store. I have a feeling in this case it has little to do with memory and more to do with attention ;) However, I am curious if there are gender differences in memory capabilities and what I am doomed to deal with as we age. I am also curious what the research really says about all those ‘memory exercising’ games you can play, like the Luminosity App you can download on your phone. Do those things actually help? They just make me anxious.