A Reflection on Week 7: Sooo When do people become adults?

            I enjoyed reading about the period of emerging adulthood this week. I laughed a little when I got to the section So When Do People Become Adults? Mostly because I feel like I wonder that about myself all the time. When I was in high school, I imagined someone being 30 had it all together. They looked older and more mature (like my parents). They had a secure 9-5 job and there were no more tough life decisions to make.

Ha. Now I am that 30 year old and although I have accomplished pretty much every milestone (role transitions-wise) that should tell me I am an adult, I don’t feel how I expected to feel as an adult. I’m still not completely sure I know what being an adult is supposed to feel like. I went to college, got married, own a home, pay all my own bills, have my own children I am responsible for, I’ve worked a full time bank job. I know I am not alone in this because I hear it from friends all the time. We all feel like we are still 20 year old college kids who just happen to have all of these things ‘grown-ups’ are supposed to have now.

It makes me wonder if having a true rite of passage in our culture would help change this mindset. The Western Apache celebrate a girl’s first menstrual period with an elaborate ceremony to transform her into “Changing Woman” and to prepare her for the community’s adultlike expectations for her (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, 2007). That is pretty clear cut for a transition into adulthood. I feel like it probably really helps to have the community’s support in a transition like this and that they all know to begin treating this person as an adult. I feel like many young adults have their hands held far too long in the rest of the US. I know that times are tough economically and people are leaving college with large amounts of debt, but I work with college graduates who are having their cell phone bills and car insurance paid for by their parents still. I don’t think that this is doing them any favors in the long run. If anything, it is more like a high school student with a part time job experiencing misleading affluence (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2010, 2007).

I love reading about the cultural differences in each period of life. It’s great to be reminded that what I am going through is similar to others here in the US and some countries but is completely different than others. I think a form of egocentrism follows us throughout our lifetime while we are trying to figure everything out. We tend to become absorbed in what is going on directly around us. Learning about life experiences in various cultures can really put things in perspective.