When I was
reading the section in chapter 12 about juggling multiple roles and the
division of household chores, it made me think of an article I read recently in
The Province. Our book talks about
how even though more women are working outside the home and are spending less
time on housework, the difference isn’t necessarily being made up with help
from the husbands. Husbands tend to stick to their traditional chores and let
their wives do the rest despite working similar hours.
I know how
lucky I have it. I work and go to school and I try really hard to do what I can
at home but thankfully I have a great husband who definitely does more than his
share of housework and childcare. He is also the one who sends me these
articles to read and this particular article couldn’t be more a more perfect
example about why more husbands and dads, especially of daughters, should help
out, at least equally, with the household chores.
A PhD
candidate in psychology at the University
of British Columbia led a
study to show how a father’s approach to household chores was a predictor of
their daughters’ professional ambitions. The study suggests that daughters will
grow up with broader career goals and choose less traditional careers when they
witness domestic equality in the home. It’s not enough for a father to preach
gender equality to their children; it is most effective when it is practiced.
The daughters will respond most to what they see, not what they are told.
It would be interesting to know
what effect this has on sons in the family. Hopefully it would lead them to
continue the trend when they start their own families and to be more supportive
of female colleagues in the workplace. I think this is very promising news if
we can all get our husbands to buy in. I’m sure I only got emailed this article
so hubby would get a pat on the back (which he deserves) for being such a good
influence for our daughters :) I also know a large proportion of my working mom
friends who do EVERYTHING to keeps their homes running. I imagine it wouldn’t
take too long before burning out. There are definitely some amazing women out
there who are able to juggle everything, but who couldn’t use a little extra
help from their spouse, especially if it could have such a lasting positive
effect on their children.
Hi Melenie,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about having help from spouses really makes difference. I'm just not so sure about equality though. Taking myself as an example, I know my level of cleanliness and quality of food I cook are very different from the standard's of my husband. He does whatever I ask him, but in his own way and standard. When he cooks, it's mainly breakfast food, so though he is helping me, I feel responsible to provide something more healthy for our meals. Before we got married, we've decided that household is under "my management" so though I get help from my husband, ultimately I'm the one responsible - I sure did this way because I'm quite specific with things at home :)
When my husband is not helping me at home, he is always doing something productive such as doing his homework, planning and packing for our trips, and so on. I think it's important to show kids not equality in the sense of dividing the household chores in two, but that each parent is actively contributing for the well being of the family. I remember both of parents worked very hard, yet my mom was still in charge of the house, so she put me and my sisters to do the chores and also hired a maid to help. Gradually, the maid went from coming once a week to coming every day as everybody got really busy with school and work. It's been over 15 years that the maid became family. She is still "working" for my parents but just one day of the week because she likes going there. She could retire and my parent would keep paying her, but she doesn't want to. She said once that she feels good about herself by working and making her own money :)